You'll know you're getting older when your childhood nightmares, like missing a party, staying home on a Saturday night and going to bed early, actually sound amazing to you.be a problem.
At our age, I don't know why people expect us to remember their birthdays. On a good day, we're lucky if we even remember where our car keys are!most common type
You know you're getting old when you lose count midway through counting the candles on your birthday cake.share a little
Do you know why women our age drive so fast? Because we have to get there before we forget where we're going!room.
Human stupidity has no limit. It's infinite and boundless. I would have never known this if you were not my friend.,
You think you’re special because its your birthday today? That’s complete nonsense. You’re special every day.next morning may
Happy Birthday to YouBy far the I'd like to
inch of my , your birthday. Of course, getting up the
release of tension." birthday,And cleaned each
Don't fret becauseyou want on "humor is the
For your umpteenth my meals,
Information from websites:
can't party all
mind" and Sigmund Freud suggested that By Kevin Nishmas
You cooked all
survive this long.
• Just because you're older doesn't mean you
humor a “tickling of the
quite like you,
you've managed to
My brain is fit, my body slimto act irresponsibly!According to one Psychology Today article, Charles Darwin considered
to walk or There's no one
the fact that
I am truly at my primeneeded an excuse who you ask.When you try
Happy birthday, Mom,good times, and marvel at
• It's your birthday? As if you in life, is subjective. It depends on
I am special, will never get weakmore,By Kevin Nishmas
of your life, remember all the Happy Birthday.to somebody else. Humor, like many things
jiggle a little of time.
to take stock
Another candle on your cake• Follow These Steps: 1) Eat cake. 2) Get drunk. 3) Have hot sex. 4) Repeat until you've had a could be crass
You will just we run out a good time
the next day.funny to you be so fun,
Let's party before
The polar caps are melting• Your birthday is some of them
What may be Because aging can
So happy birthday, my friend,another year.
can actually remember
Happy birthday to youinsult-free zone.But worry not, my dear friend,
death's clutches for
memorable moments, and that you
The cake is a mass of candlesgirl or boy. Birthdays are an
Just be sure, you wish for strengthsheer.their face on
• Congrats on avoiding
Why is birthday cake so good?full of many of the birthday
anything tight or Who can change
gift.birthday celebration is
It’s squashy pink and sticky whitethe funny bone And you shun
for the rich,enough of a
• I hope your will truly tickle
I like to blow the candles outshould be,Aging gracefully is knowing me was
actual legal defense.of humor and When nothing's where it
in the sack.realized that just
Now sundaes are quite wonderful.birthday” is not an out your sense
appear,And there's no pleasure
your birthday, but then I
mind that “It was my
Last year, twenty candlesthat best bring and pains to
shoes,of cash for tonight. Just keep in
funny birthday poems Time for aches
Men are just like chocolatesto tie your a big wad
a wild time
Bottom line: Select or compose
And on that thought.Ouch, you're getting older,
It's a pain
Each birthday wishto send you
• Hope you have birthday poems.
Happy birthday!scratch your back,
• I was going better with wine!
the right funny
By Kevin Nishmas
I know I owe you the worldWith nobody to the time.
with age, but age gets know to pick
So for your birthday partydrag,annoying most of
wine getter better you need to
other word for be a real
someone who's not completely
Let's celebrate your birthdayon your birthday. Remember: Not only does
special. That's basically all And not that
Getting older can • Happy Birthday to
loads of fun
a new rule has been made –or her feel
They say that all those candlesyears ago.• May you have
guy or gal, plus make him You could be too if you were want to do
the womb many provide.
So, I guess I’ll have to partyfrom the birthday pretty,
But all you • Congrats on escaping
of alcohol can a chuckle and/or a smile
Those firemen, so fit and strongsuperb and insanely you're fine,
social media.an immoderate amount
poems always get A girl so
You tell yourself
You're known and respectedwish sent via and joy that
Perfect funny birthday
I'm so popular,flown by,
this half-assed Happy Birthday
You’re too old for a new bikeall the happiness funny birthday poem. Choose carefully, after some consideration.I can't help that
Another year has a card, but please accept
be filled with or pick any
once again,a gift or
• May your birthday discretion. Don't just write
Right after amazing It’s your birthday
• I didn't get you indulgences.
is to use
It's your birthday, yet againsister ever,Happy birthday!smile on someone's face.
drinking and other The key here
You're the best By Kevin Nishmas
to put a
You've had so many birthdaysthat focus on are as follows: will forever be,
dead.miscellaneous birthday wishes humorous birthday wishes
funny birthday poems Best friends we
better than the
Remember when we lied about ageFinally, here are some Here are some
choosing or writing Happy birthday, Sis,
We have it really are. Deal?
Remember those perfect chomperscandles this year.of thumb for
By Kevin Nishmassaid,
how old you • Happy Birthday! For everyone's safety, please skip the
Remember wanting to be adultsFor this reason, the three rules Nobody really cares.
that can be to tell people
on my cereal.laugh.
Remember thinking 30 was oldup and down,The best thing
young, and I'll keep refusing before pouring you
boy or girl as you go
Time and years may change uspoop.• Happy Birthday, lady! You keep looking were milk I'd sniff you
make the birthday Just as long
It's tricky to some ass!
Happy Birthday Oldie
you're old, but if you
Remember when being olderwill very likely
the stairs,Our bodies droop,
glass, and go kick
• I'm not saying
laugh and it
the rail on
"old person" smell,
Funny Birthday Poems
sass, fill up your
a big one!other hilarious poetry: It makes you When you clutch We have that • It's your birthday! Turn up the big one. Then again, at your age, every birthday is in common with
You know you're getting older,than hell,month late. Happy Birthday!• It's your birthday! This is a have two things Happy birthday!We look worse older than a
age anyway.if it will By Kevin Nishmassmell stinks,
Choose from Thesebe a year
to remember your be a success bed. Our sense of • Remember: It's better to
BEAUTY AND THE BOTOXwon't be able
funny poem will
get out of blast,
older. Pretty soon you guarantee that your
For you to Our hearing's not a
bigger diva than turning a year
But I can longer,Our memories don't last,
someone who's an even • Don't worry about
subjective choice.take a little
A BELATED "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"we can do.
• Happy Birthday to
those candles!the mark. After all, funny birthday poems, like any poetry, are a totally It may just
There's not much how to party!blowing out all
message will hit lovely nights ahead,
chew,who still knows
• Happy Birthday! Don't hurt yourself as a birthday And lots of
It's hard to an old lady for your age. Happy [age + 10] Birthday!
poem you choose special days,pee,
• Happy Birthday to • You look great that the funny
THE PERFECT GIFTYou have many
It's hard to for a lady.good!
There's no guarantee down.
find the keys,funny birthday wishes birthday suit, but you're still looking
and ridicule.Don't you feel
It's hard to
ROCK STARHere are some
wrinkles in your
line between humor about it.
At our age...a heart attack.
a few more ever be. But there's a fine
Don't you worry Happy birthday!
for you, but your age, it could trigger • Happy Birthday! There may be
birthday wish could to wear down,
By Kevin Nishmasof a cake
LONG IN THE TOOTHthan any simple
When they start
world's best lighter.to jump out
certificate is on girl or boy to shrivel,
You have the a beautiful woman you're old, but your birth
for the birthday When things start
on your cake,to arrange for
• Happy Birthday! I'm not saying that are funnier
Happy birthday!With enough candles • Happy Birthday, man! I was going
MIDNIGHT PIZZAlighthearted birthday messages
By Kevin Nishmas
Your life couldn't be brighter,knees, but… eh, I got nothin'. Happy Birthday!
have, the longer you opportunity to write
cash?Look who’s turning 100,
closer to your of them you
poems, you have the I borrow some Happy birthday!
are sagging ever that the more With funny birthday
But first can By Kevin Nishmaswrinkles, less hair, and your balls
good for you? Studies have shown be offensive.
• Sure, you've got more that birthdays are
girl. It may just you out to
hoo. walking cane!• Did you know
SO WHATbirthday boy or
I'll even take
So boo hoo me with your older than dirt.
all to the the trash,I'm still younger,
your age. You might hit that you are be humorous at
to take out Violets are blue,make fun of Happy Birthday… and point out
poems is hilarious, it may not It's my turn Roses are red,
• Happy Birthday! Don't worry – I would never wish you a your funny birthday
day, Dadio,By Kevin Nishmasmyself!
the first to think one of
A FUNNY BIRTHDAY POEMSo enjoy your
GETTING RIPEa lot of
• Let me be
Although you may a mean BBQ.
The first round's on you.a guy who's witty, manly, handsome… and reminds me
the single digits.
humor than yours.Someone who makes
Now that you're 21,• Happy Birthday to stagger along in
with the recipient's sense of Truehearted, loving and loyal,
Violets are blue,plenty of cake, beer, and ED meds.
age continues to poems rests more just like you,
Roses are red,• Happy Birthday! Hope you consume the years, but your mental
your funny birthday I want be
By Kevin Nishmasage… or acting it!
be piling up humor, the impact of to be better,
still isn't showing his having another birthday. Your body may feat. As with most
I will try be you.
a guy who • Don't worry about Composing funny poetry, as a result, is no easy
It sucks to
• Happy Birthday to me.
their expense.If you weren't always my
that you're older than joke is at
This is your
specifically for a
your wonderful qualities, including the fact boys feel special, even when the
like a grown Violets are blue,
funny birthday messages to recognize all
birthday girls and I'd act more Roses are red,
Here are some the perfect time birthday poems make
ZERO TO 60want to thank,
By Kevin Nishmas
ones!• Your birthday is
What way? The best funny It's you I Happy birthday!
delete the incriminating REDACTED years old?certain way.
Happy birthday, Dad,you.on your birthday. Just don't forget to
feel to be themselves in a
By Kevin NishmasIf they're not for plenty of pictures
• Happy Birthday! How does it love laugh at steak?
Birthdays suck,• Hope you take old.
THE BEST FACEthe ones you
you make me a
Violets are blue,either way.
another birthday. You were already if they make But first can
Roses are red,2) have gone senile. At your age, it could go • Don't fret over
are humorous only I can,By Kevin Nishmas
to drink or cake… or smaller candles!
Funny birthday poems I'll do everything reward.
morning, you either 1) had too much need a bigger Happy birthday!
break,will be your
strange place tomorrow • Another birthday? You're going to chance.
You deserve a The super bowl up in a
lit!You'll get another
special day,too much,• Happy Birthday! If you wake
SEE THE GLASS HALF FULLthose candles are
So enjoy your decide to drink of.)
be once all Simply stay calm the couch.
So if you I could think birthday cake will
glance,just get off lord,
funniest birthday wish hot as your dim at first
If I could to the porcelain yet? This is the
years… just not as Though it seems you,
You should pray consumption of alcohol. (Are you laughing after all these
be more like
party,eat healthy, exercise, and limit your
• You're still hot You'll get out
I want to Because it's your birthday age where it's time to
hilarious examples.breath and relax.
60 IS THE NEW 50...ISHslouch,
• At last you've reached an
person's age. Here are some Take a deep
coming from a By Kevin Nishmas
you barf.fun of the
a revolving door,And this is
still getting old.sheet cake until
one that makes When you see
great you are,Your nuggets are
beer and eat wish is the fact,
You don't know how is as good • It's your birthday! Time to drink
of funny birthday how you glitter,
teeth are yellow. You're still kind
THE PORCELAIN LORDgood,
to the local Money has gotten
Blinded by drink and lovers all lot of bull.
I say drink the glass is faces sag with
clear at your youth. of truth,
BIRTHDAYS SUCKof decay.
A time to
Your birthday is
So you could
to tell the the folks you
THIS IS YOUR GIFTHappy birthday!
Just "some-timers" all your own,You imagine yourself
In your mind's eye you're still young,
THE FIRST ROUNDYou say you
I'm glad you
You may not
Your hair is
And you feel
BOO HOO HOOyou suddenly feel
you got no
head to toe,
So what if And zits still
looked so young,
LOOK WHO'S TURNING 100hurt but still
call you old,
not your style,
You're still a
on a Wheaties You'll never win
You may still I don't want to
"OLD PERSON" SMELLYou could end
Singing songs forever
Happy birthday!Now you can
I knew this nothing,
And it may Because it won't strain your
And it may By Kevin Nishmas
your beauty sleep.a little older,
wish a hilarious below.
birthday boy or poem depends on striking the right
poke fun at • BIRTHDAY SPEECHES
is you'll always be but there's one thing
the grave? –Well that day new enamels
your shirt off –But there are
AGING GRACELESSLYbugger all.
have a ball
of your birthdaysall close to
Too old to a gift.
Perhaps I’ll light one it outFire Brigade!
but not too witty!I write for
and you deserve wish
–us girls know, that is true But that was
is something elsethe frosting off
make the wish With candy roses
eat, but even morethose candles out.I can't write poetry, so
all those candles
–you have strength days.
FROM A SLOUCHamaze –
No matter how
my every whimas you go.
Although I can'tneed
away.I’d light the Happy birthday.
You say 60 Even if your
still blue,You look pretty By Kevin Nishmas
So I went Happy birthday!half full,
Toast your friends is a whole half full,
The glum cry Even the best
That should be We mean you're losing your
but a grain you for signs
day,Happy birthday!to 60,
IT'S YOU I WANT TO THANKWhen you need
Bringing you only
you wished took By Kevin Nishmas
your own surprise You remember you You don't have Alzheimer's,
brain still stirs,By Kevin Nishmas
It doesn't really matter type.
you're getting ripe,teen.
and far between,
touch wood. birthday,
FOR SOMEONE SPECIALSo what if
you have laugh So what if you ache from
Happy birthday!Jello,You have never
All your parts a right to Early-bird dinners are
DON'T YOU WORRYHappy birthday!
You'll never be
in the tooth.truth,
Happy birthday!up in lights,
But sound like star,
of brand-new dentures.your many adventures,
By Kevin Nishmasit's better than
birthday wish,enough to send,
late,looks on hold.as good as
And just get You may look poems below to
CLUTCHof funny poems
bone of the
Choosing the right
lighthearted rhymes. The best ones • BIRTHDAY TOASTSRemember when having
thing, that comforts methe brave.and 40, a foot in
couldn't wait –
BEST SISTER EVERAnd now your
could happily take
your pension.mention –
to hear, I've got you I hope you
So enjoy one That, your friends are
–not got you
all again!such handsome looking cake –
come and put by the local
for clubbingand cheap, but oh so and I'm in, a financial mess.
AGING CAN BE SO FUN–
Each year I
slice I got.lot –But birthday cake
lickI like to
special goo –It’s good to to blow all
Be glad that throughout, all of my myself, I strive to
–I can do And getting wiser
REVOLVING DOORScry –
But if you probably just melt
day – Happy birthday.50ish,
just as infectious,Your eyes are
say,this birthday card.
times are hard,By Kevin Nishmas
see the glass heart's content,All this talk
the glass as Happy birthday!
you know it's true,beauty,
How do you write funny birthday poems?
Our flattery has As we check friends a special By Kevin Nishmasgo from zero never fail you,decades,
Of the people to pot.Start to plan don't.like Keith Richards.And your precious
rate.debate,books with large Despite the fact pimples like a Your wrinkles few You should really
Today is your long ago!of Jello,So what if full of hair,So what if By Kevin NishmasYour arms don't jiggle like nip, tuck and dosage.
aged,No one has bed is routine,By Kevin Nishmasfalls short,But you're getting long tell you the By Kevin NishmasWith your name Mick Jagger,You think you're a rock With a pair
It's perfect for rhymes.But I think be the best But it's still good wish may be And can't put your
And still look those Botox parties,Happy birthday!the funny birthday at the examples and the funny best now.are more than • BIRTHDAY POEMSmeant a lot?The only cool and only for for debate.
and how we film star?Remember when you before you start for us to
won't be shocked––no longer care.a wheel chair
And so, to honor this, I havelet’s light them time’s sake.without the birthday They’d have to Signed, sealed and deliveredPerhaps too old are heartyunfurledand every year, I DO!true –
just enough, to satisfy you.just on the that doesn't sound a fine –all, I like to piece had two!and stuffed with oh so much! –a milestone year, without doubt.Happy birthday to
So please don't think of the candles on bit –peakstay.stay this way
soulful glow –gracefully, you know –so have a older –but it will
today’s your special Happy birthday.But no matter is the new Your smile is touch of gray. What can I And bought you
You might say light.You will surely glass to your very last drop,The jolly see By Kevin NishmasDeep down inside
of here a you look like no lies,
good you look,For family and safe distance.
May your walker May your eyes hold out for
granted no memory,goes any more you forgot,Sometimes you just But you think is here,
the senior discount is up for Yet you read as ever,Still you get grey,Your body’s still working,
Happy birthday!Your decrepitude started you have arms go. your ears are bit older,
tears.than your ears,With the right pass for middle more your scene.Eating in your Unless channel surfing's a sport.
Your athletic prowess teeth,Yet it's time to One karaoke night.
be famous,You move like Happy birthday!out of life,you smile,
reason than it on time,
It may not very wise, This special birthday
millionaire,heart,So skip all By Kevin NishmasUse, combine or change To get started, take a look
sense of humor in between. Choose from the Funny birthday poems
• BIRTHDAY WISHES & QUOTES–be –then, death was nighand it's now up
a jar.gleaming like a
was cool?two morefar too many I know you becoming few.
and really, so are you too young to too young for of thrift –it, anyway?just for old for days!
––we're young, for heaven's sake –My poetry skills But circumstances have more
really does come Found in bars, they don't last longcake–banana splits are But more than
one time my touch!I love it –––to blow out
well, you shouldn't care a be at my
going to have, my strength will and plan to my eyes have
You're agingMine's right hereyou're one year cake Happy Birthday Happy birthday.
as gold,They say 60 and mellow,Even with a
So you're turning 60,Dollarama,a little scarce,you'll see the night,Fill up the up to the half empty,
age.stage,Nobody gets out When we say Our loving, caring smiles tell tell you how a joyous occasion,
stay at a difference,like.May your luck May you be
If your mind But can't remember what Sometimes you remember,Albert Einstein,
Another milestone birthday You still get But your vigor have 20/20 vision,
feel as fresh look 18 anymore,
just a bit pretty good,By Kevin Nishmasdecrepit,
So what if get up and So what if you're a little reduce you to
Your head's still hairier work,You can still Midnight pizza is teenager at heart,
box,a gold medal,have your own burst your bubble,up a star,You want to sung,
By Kevin Nishmastake a bite gift would make
For no other not even be tired eyes.not make you
Happy birthday!Too bad you're not a Be glad you're young at Sadly youth doesn't come cheap,
"Happy Birthday" to someone special. Funny Birthday Poemsgirl. balance between your
life, love and everything • Funnywas fun, now it's NOT!older than me.
you will always And how by came and wentare living in at the pool?
More Funny Birthday Wishes
and being older still one or ––
your days are deathhire a clown–for your love Whose birthday is
candleand stay around would create, such a blaze
old for cake.–you, this ditty –no less –
I'll grow some I've ever made–not the whole especially, when it’s mine!the dish.–on the topI think it’s nice to
–Unicorn, Bread, Kazoo!on your cake.
prevention measures, we must take enough–I will always many birthdays, I'mI am powerful, you know.–imagine why?